Now I'm not the biggest Blur fan, but even I can appreciate it's sacrilege to sample Song 2. Why the band agreed to this I don't know.
It's also easy to appreciate how utterly vile this song is. It epitomises everything that's wrong with pop music today - and it sure as hell makes me feel old saying that. Here's a checklist for you:
* Sampling a classic track into a piece of pop-club trash? Check.
* Dull production with generic four-to-the-floor beat? Check.
* Mandatory dub-step breakdown? Naturally.
* Inane lyrics? In abundance - "all the windows down while I'm rolling through your town" being the main chorus hook.
* Autotune vocals? Utterly necessary.
* All performed by a talentless boyband manufactured by Nickelodeon? Indeed. Not that I have anything against manufactured bands necessarily - but '90s groups at least had some personality. And could dance.
Then there's the video - a 'lads on tour' style collection of holiday clips, posing and drunken antics (probably). Dare I say it, The Wanted did it better?
All in all Windows Down is a crime against music. Steer clear.
1/5
Listen: Windows Down is available now. God help us.
