It's a little known fact that Carly Rae Jepsen learnt how to sing by watching Alvin and the Chipmunks. And just by singing, she's able to commune with rodents and call dogs to attention.
No. Really.
Call Me Maybe has been a huge global hit this year and with its instant appeal, it's easy to see why. More recently we've had Good Time featuring Owl City that's bright, bubbly and full of glee.
But who would actually want a whole album's worth of this? Well, unless you're below the age of five and glued to the Disney Channel 24/7. 'Kiss' is perfect for entertaining kids - vibrant, catchy and more suitable than Nicki Minaj.
But for a cynical twenty-something, Jepsen has one major flaw: she's too goddamn happy. ALL THE TIME. The term bubblegum pop is nowhere near sickly sweet enough to even begin to describe this album. Each song is a carbon copy of Call Me Maybe - high-pitched vocals; sparkly, glittery synths; and simple beats. Only the odd element distinguishes each song from the next: the computerised voice of Tiny Little Bows; the shoddy key change in Curiosity (possibly the worst in all of pop music); or the appalling lyrics of Guitar String/Wedding Ring ("if you plucked a piece of guitar string I would wear it like it's a wedding ring") or anatomical ballad Your Heart Is A Muscle ("you gotta work it out, make it stronger"). And Owl City isn't the only collaborator, with everyone's favourite baby-star Justin Bieber featuring on Beautiful. It's far from, both singers sounding indistinguishable (and a step backwards for Bieber whose recent album is relatively decent). At least Katy Perry was being ironic when she released pop hit California Gurls with its dessert-based, sexy video. Jepsen, on the other hand, clearly thinks 'Kiss' was seriously worth releasing. Sure, there's a place for this sort of pop music, but a whole album's worth is just sugar overload.
But what's that? Is that my toe tapping? My head nodding? AM I SINGING ALONG?
...shit.
2/5
Gizzle's Choice:
* This Kiss
* Call Me Maybe
* Good Time
Listen: 'Kiss' is available now.
