If you want to hear them all, visit the official Eurovision site. Otherwise, here are some thoughts, with the best tracks in bold.
SWEDEN FTW.
Albania: Elhaida Dani - I'm Alive
We start proceedings with a ballad. Get used to it, there
are plenty more to come.
Armenia: Genealogy - Face The Shadow
Six singers; piano ballad; rock guitars; opera warbling.
Sometimes less is more guys.
Australia: Guy
Sebastian - Tonight Again
Sure, they’re not in Europe. And what exactly will happen if
they win? Time changes and long-haul flights aplenty. But still, this soul-pop
effort is the song the UK should’ve entered with.
Austria: The Makemakes - I Am Yours
They’ve already made a point with Conchita, so this year the
host nation are phoning in their entry with a piano-playing James Bay. It’s as
interesting as that sounds.
Azerbaijan: Elnur Huseynov - Hour Of The Wolf
He’s certainly trying hard with a voice that just keeps on
rising. Let’s hope he does that gif-worthy spin at the key change during the
live performance.
Belarus: Uzari&Maimuna - Time
Belarus: Uzari&Maimuna - Time
The wide-eyed panic of this girl stuck in a sand timer says
it all.
Belgium: Loïc Nottet - Rhythm Inside
Altogether now: “And we’ll never be Royyaaaaaaals”.
Cyprus: John Karayiannis - One Thing I Should Have Done
Look at that face. Look at that heartbreak. You will feel
feelings.
Czech Republic: Marta Jandová and Václav Noid Bárta - Hope
Never Dies
All hope is gone.
Denmark: Anti Social Media - The Way You Are
It might be the 60th anniversary of Eurovision,
but that doesn’t mean your entry should also come from that time. Still, it is
catchy.
Estonia: Elina Born & Stig Rästa - Goodbye To Yesterday
If Morrissey did Eurovision (with a pretty naked girl for
good measure – stay classy Estonia).
F.Y.R Macedonia: Daniel Kajmakoski - Autumn Leaves
The video’s cute, but the lack of a catchy chorus means this
will drown in a series of ballads. Next.
Finland: Pertti Kurikan Nimipäivät - Aina Mun Pitää
Good Lordi.
France: Lisa Angell - N'oubliez Pas
So arty. So evocative. So Français. Le yawn.
Georgia: Nina Sublatti - Warrior
Germany: Ann Sophie - Black Smoke
“How long can we pretennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnDAH”. Make it stop.
MAKE IT STOP.
Greece: Maria Elena Kyriakou - One Last Breath
Time to put the kettle on everyone.
Hungary: Boggie - Wars For Nothing
Once: The Musical have arrived. Now I’m falling slowly…into
a coma.
Iceland: Maria Olafs
- Unbroken
For a country that’s spawned Björk and Sigur Rós, Iceland
have rarely done particularly well in Eurovision. This is, however, one of the
better entries this year: cute and pleasant.
Ireland: Molly Sterling - Playing With Numbers
Oh come on Ireland, you can do better than this drivel.
Israel: Nadav Guedj -
Golden Boy
Great, another slow ballad. But wait! Skip to 30 seconds in
and prepare yourself for pure JOY. Timberlake guitars, sexy dancing and a
key change. All that’s missing is a Pitbull rap.
Italy: Il Volo - Grande Amore
What’s hotter than an Italian in a suit? Phallic pottery.
And who doesn’t love a bit of pop-opera? Oh, and the video includes some
horrifically bad acting and a revolting wink at 2’12.
Latvia: Aminata - Love Injected
This year’s Latvian offering stands apart with a dark,
industrial electronic sound and a soaring vocal. Then again, Norway did the same thing in 2013.
Lithuania: Monika
Linkytė and Vaidas Baumila - This Time
On the surface this is a cute little ditty, but it's rife with sexual tension. The two singers are clearly banging. And the video includes
a very lucky guy having a threesome in a sea of couples. When did Lithuania become such a hotbed of sexual activity?
Malta: Amber - Warrior
Two songs called Warrior? Is that even allowed? I’m
sceptical to hear this one live though.
Georgia > Malta
Georgia > Malta
Moldova: Eduard Romanyuta - I Want Your Love
Montenegro: Knez - Adio
Ooo look at the pretty mountainzzzzzzzzzz.
Norway: Mørland &
Debrah Scarlett - A Monster Like Me
Once again, Norway have one of the more interesting entries:
a dramatic string-laden track set around a terrible dinner party. Still, it
could’ve been this from Karin Park.
Poland: Monika Kuszyńska - In The Name Of Love
Sorry lads, no butter churning this year. Instead, Poland
have gone the serious route with a sleep-inducing ballad. Time for another
cuppa. Need milk?
Portugal: Leonor Andrade - Há Um Mar Que Nos Separa
Portugal never do well. This mid-tempo power ballad won’t
help their cause.
Romania: Voltaj - De
La Capat/ All Over Again
“I see dead people” (To be fair, this actually has a decent
chorus courtesy of Uncle Fester and Darius Danesh’s love child).
Russia: Polina Gagarina - A Million Voices
Aww bless, it’s a Russian anthem for world peace.
Presumably, though, that doesn’t include anyone outside of their white,
Christian, heterosexual norm, thereby discounting 98% of Eurovision’s key
audience.
San Marino: Anita Simoncini & Michele Perniola - Chain
of Lights
The first word is “no”. Sounds about right.
Serbia: Bojana Stamenov - Beauty Never Lies
Neither does Gizzle: this is terrible.
Slovenia: Maraaya - Here For You
I have no time for this sub-par Set Fire To The Rain wannabe.
Spain: Edurne -
Amanecer
How are Spanish people so good looking? And that’s not
including the best use of CGI in the videos of this year’s competition. Oh
wait….were they singing?
Sweden: Måns
Zelmerlöw - Heroes
PUT ALL OF YOUR MONEY ON SWEDEN. This is the best song of
Eurovision 2015 by an absolute MILE. Yes the verses are initially a bit twangy,
but the chorus. THE CHORUS. It’s not quite Loreen, but expect this to win by a
landslide.
Switzerland: Mélanie René - Time To Shine
Budget Bat For Lashes.
The Netherlands: Trijntje Oosterhuis - Walk Along
Oh come on love, you’re old enough to be his mother.
United Kingdom: Electro Velvet - Still In Love With You
United Kingdom: Electro Velvet - Still In Love With You