Sunday, 13 October 2013

R Kelly - Cookie

"My mind's telling me nooooooo. But my body, my booooooody's telling me yeeeees."

For the uninitiated, this is the opening to R Kelly's Bump N' Grind, one of the sexiest R&B tracks of all time.  Yet there's a fine line between sexy and sleazy.  For a man of 46, Cookie feels somewhat inappropriate.

There's nothing wrong (or new) with the beat and deep bass, but it's with the lyrics that Cookie feels unappetising.  Food analogies aside ("I'm the cookie monster", "I'm gonna lick the middle like an Oreo"), hanging out with R Kelly just sounds painful.  Not only is he "gonna beat the pussy 'til it's blue" (presumably how he likes his steak) but he wants to "bite it and get inside it 'til I get you gone" and then "break your back, crack it open like a lobster".  Ouch.

Now, a bit of light spanking never hurt anyone, but I know I won't be baking for R Kelly anytime soon.

Besides, there can only ever be one Cookie Monster:


Listen: Cookie is taken from the forthcoming album 'Black Panties' released on December 3rd.