Go back and listen to Girls Aloud’s initial auditions for
Popstars the Rivals. Not great eh? The girls may have formed the most successful
talent show group in history with a string of excellent pop hits, but as solo
artists their voices are pretty weak.
Now it’s the turn of Kimberley Walsh to forge a solo career,
after frequently unsubtly hinting expressing her love for musical
theatre. Often, talent show hopefuls are
told they’d be “perfect” for the West End stage when they fail at being a popstar. Why?!
West End performers spend years training and perfecting their craft,
only for a (very) minor celebrity to swoop in and steal the best roles. The disillusioned Walsh is a prime example,
what with her turn in the dire Shrek The Musical, which did nothing but reveal her limp vocal.
‘Centre Stage’ is essentially an extended audition for Walsh’s
West End career – a career that, judging by this album, deserves to stay buried
in the audition room. A quick look down
the track list is enough to send musical theatre aficionados dizzy with fear –
songs like On My Own, Defying Gravity and
Somewhere are notoriously exposing
and tough to sing. Is Walsh’s voice
really up to scratch?
No.
The song choices are obvious crowd pleasers, many of which
centre on an infamous ‘big note’. Take
Idina Menzel’s richly belted performance of Defying
Gravity from ‘Wicked’ – by comparison, Walsh’s voice is a wispy shadow
where every note is a struggle. Memory from ‘Cats’ is synonymous with
Elaine Paige, a song of beautiful fragility.
In Walsh’s hands, it just sounds like a strangled cat. Anyone who’s seen the recent film of ‘Les
Miserables’ will be familiar with On My
Own, here reduced to pop drivel. And
Walsh’s television performance of One Day I’ll Fly Away did enough, in one fell swoop, to ensure nobody buys this
album.
A major problem is that musical theatre numbers are
inherently theatrical. On ‘Centre Stage’
many of the tracks have been reinterpreted as pop songs to accommodate Walsh’s
limited capabilities. There’s no drama,
no feeling, just a straight vocal meandering around the melody. Somewhere
from ‘West Side Story’ is an incredibly tragic song, but on this album it’s
re-imagined as a crooning jazz number that sees Walsh doing her best Sinatra
impression. Leonard Bernstein will be
turning in his grave. As Long As He Needs Me is similarly crucified
jazzified, sung with little to no sense of phrasing whatsoever. Falling
Slowly is the newest song on the album, taken from the current Broadway
smash ‘Once’. Walsh is paired with Ronan
Keating, together performing as a rather dull, emotionless duet. Thankfully Walsh is joined by West End star
Louise Dearman for I Still Believe
from ‘Miss Saigon’, the most dramatically produced song and in the most
appropriate key for Walsh’s voice. Even
so, she’s utterly out-sung by Dearman who showcases what a musical theatre
voice should sound like.
Another issue is that of audience. It’s unlikely that Girls Aloud fans will be
interested in this little side project to the band, but equally fans of
musicals have little reason to part with their cash when they can purchase the
far superior cast recordings. We’ve
already had Susan Boyle ruining I Dreamed
A Dream, we don’t need Walsh doing the same for other loved shows. It’s no wonder ‘Centre Stage’ is currently
plummeting down the charts.
It’s difficult to justify any redeeming features of ‘Centre
Stage’ beyond the attractive cover art.
Far from bringing musical theatre to a new audience, Walsh has achieved
the opposite with sickening interpretations of some beautiful songs. Perhaps the minimal album sales can be put
towards some acting lessons – God knows she needs them.
1/5
Gizzle's Choice:
* None.
Listen: If you must, 'Centre Stage' is available now.
