Friday 10 June 2011

Nicola Roberts - Beat Of My Drum

Look, it's everyone's least favourite member of Girls Aloud a.k.a ginger chav Nicola Roberts, here with her first solo single!!!  WOOP WOOP!!!

...and hopefully her last.

You see, besides the song being absolute dog sh*te, Roberts is missing one vital element required for all popstars, the big C: CHARISMA.  Just look at her at the start of the video - she may as well have nervoulsy agreed to strip naked for a crowd of millions.  Is there anything happening behind those eyes?  No.  Everything about the song and her performance is half-hearted, like she's just blocking the moves rather than going full-out.  Perhaps this is supposed to reflect a laidback sense of cool.  But it doesn't even reach laziness, it's just an absolute incapability to perform.  It's like she doesn't even want to be there, so what's the point?  Cheryl Cole may not have a great voice, but at least she has a personality and some sex appeal (well...vaguely).  Roberts has literally nothing going for her.

No Nicola, I will not be dancing to the beat of your drum.  I'll be switching this off thank you very much.